The Point

I can't believe how some people can spend so many years with you and never really "get it." Some people who are supposed to be so close to me completely miss the point. I feel like a stranger.

It's like cursing and giving the gestures to a red truck for cutting you off in traffic. The passenger in your car thinks you've got something against red trucks and starts defending the truck's color. Well he can't help it, red was what was left on the lot.

Lord, help me. It makes no difference what color the truck was. I guess while I have an eye for details, some details make such little difference in my overall happiness. I don't want to live in a rat hole but I don't need a big fancy house.

Square footage doesn't impress me so I never remember how big something is. I couldn't tell you how many feet are in this trailer, my wife's house, my sister's trailer, so and so's double wide. I can tell you that my carpet is a hideous shade of burgundy that looks a little washed out and doesn't really go with anything. I can tell you my wife's house is painted too many dark colors inside for the amount of light that enters them and if the floors were updated with $50 linoleum, it would make a world of difference in her general mood. My trailer has designer compressed particle board flooring and had been that way for the better part of a year when the person who helped start the job, quit giving a shit about finishing anything. We can start all sorts of shit but finishing is such a bitch.

So yeah, mom was excited over a deal on coy fish for her pond the way one might be excited to have won a brand new car. Eh. I don't care about a big fancy place and if I won millions in the lottery, I would buy a trailer or double wide big enough to hold all my hobbies and interests, and I would take a big vacation. I wouldn't build a mansion and stay home. Hell no!

I can say, "No!" and I'm proud of it. I can tell the lady at dollar general that I don't want to donate my change to children's literacy. I can come up with the excuse that I just spent $20 on the kids at the school's book fair. I've got children's literacy covered on my end. Thanks but no thanks. The point here is I don't owe her an explanation. I can say no and leave it at that. Never explain. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it. That girl at wendy's really doesn't give a shit if you donate your change to the charity du jour or not and she really doesn't want to hear why or why not. Sometimes I tell the firemen, "No." Sometimes I don't even roll down the window and will ignore them completely. I don't owe anyone a reason for wanting to save my money.

So you might call me an ass. Go ahead and say it out loud. Tell me if saying it out loud makes you feel any better.