Corn Dog For Your Ass

Becoming a parent was one of the best things I've ever done with my life. It has also been the scariest. They have given me confidence but also fear. Sure there are times I feel invincible and I can be as crazy as I want to be in the name of entertaining children. Then there are times we ride carnival rides, they get too close to the cliff at Old Man's Cave, they take dog biscuits from strangers down the street.

The fear I think about so much of the time though is the fear of doing psychological damage. For the past ten years I've mulled over stuff that happened as I was growing up. The things I heard haunted me and I gave it extra importance in my life. I thought if people knew what I endured, they might understand. I thought maybe I would understand my own weaknesses if I examined the minute details of my child development.

Physicians go through this "interns disease" and I guess as a teacher, I over analyze my upbringing. I think about some of the things that made such an impact in my growing up and I wonder what little thing I do is going to stand out. Maybe the things I do will roll off them like water.

Will my kids remember the kick ass times we had on our road trip or will they remember the extra homework I gave her and the corn dog I denied him. She missed about a week of school so when the work came home, I made sure she got it done and more. While we were waiting on it, I made her start working on a keyboarding program. I also read to her Poe's Black Cat.

Thaddeus is outgrowing all his school pants he got in August. He just turned six and some of them just won't snap. I bought a bunch of 7's at the Goodwill. The pants I peeled off him last night were size 7. He's not fat but he shouldn't eat a corn dog before bed. I told him no.

I've never let food be an issue. In this house, we do not fight over food. If we run out, I will buy more. If you don't eat it all, I will feed it to the yard. I told him dinner time was over and it was bedtime. In the back of my mind I remember that Christmas break when I grew out of my jeans. Mom made me wear them and then made me sit down on the couch. I cried as she said, "Sit there and think about what you've done to yourself!"

Did this one incident make me fat? I highly doubt it, though it may have helped my rebellion if that is why I am a binge eater. I don't know if denying him food will make him want it more or if teaching him to moderate will be be effective.

I'll think of something. We're all different. When they were born, I knew I was going to have to get to know my kids. They didn't come with manuals on their favorite color or favorite food. I'll figure it out. I always do....until the next day. Oh and I caved. I let him have one corn dog. The boy has never ever ever been able to sleep if he's hungry. I've noticed.